Carmen’s Chatter

Experts on intercultural communication talk about “tip-of-the-iceberg” cultural traits versus “bottom-of-the-iceberg” or “below-the-waterline” cultural traits. Clothes, gestures, language, and such are the one-fifth “tip,” while beliefs, attitudes, learning styles, values, and such are the four-fifths hidden.

Can’t the same be said of people? (I’ve always thought each person represents his or her own “culture.” That’s why discussing “intercultural communication” is always so difficult. We use large categories to describe it—lots of “do’s and “do not’s”—all the while knowing simple categories are consistently surprised by the idiosyncracies of individuals and individual groups within each culture.)

Isn’t each person about one-fifth showing and four-fifths hidden? That one-fifth should definitely look humble, as Benedict of Nursia suggests. For me, I simply look to my husband to see what that would look like and try to copy him. Sean is not loud, has a humble bearing even in his walk, does not jump to conclusions, is always kind, does not easily take offense, and looks for the good in others.

The four-fifths should also be humble. That’s what I’ve been studying lately—how to pray. It seems that prayer is, as author Roberta Bondi likes to say, “warfare to the last breath.” She spent much of her time as a professor at Emory studying the ancient Christian writers, and they, too, write that prayer is “warfare.” They mean inner warfare, where we struggle with our selves.

I have just read Frederica Mathewes-Green’s book on the Jesus Prayer (Paraclete Press, October 1, 2009). It is a life-changing book. It explains the Jesus Prayer in deceptively simple, compassion-rich, gentle, wise, and inviting prose. I first read Das Jesusgebet (The Jesus Prayer) when I was 22 and in Germany. My octogenarian German friend Mother Buschbeck gave me a copy for Christmas.

I was taken with it. It helped me through a hard time. I especially liked the idea that you gather up momentum in prayer, “like a bird soaring in the sky,” which flaps its wings over and again until it reaches cruising speed and can ride a thermal. See under “Soaring” here. I started trying the Jesus Prayer as I walked beside the Neckar River in Heidelberg. But then I must have forgotten it or simply got involved in other things and let it go.

During graduate school I turned instead instinctively (without knowing what to call it) to what I didn’t know was lectio divina. First, I read the Bible through several times in a fairly short, intense period of cerebral time, using The Expositor’s Bible Commentaries. It was intense, and wonderful. I was suffering from huge insomnia and depression at the time, but I soldiered on, studying English thoroughly in graduate school, somehow (was a miracle) making Phi Beta Kappa and somehow (was another miracle) receiving a Fulbright to the University of London and also every morning and throughout the day studying the Bible.

I was also walking two hours a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. These times of walking helped me digest all that I was learning, both in the classroom and in my small apartment. Walking helped pack in and arrange the information in my mind, so I could take more in. Walking has always been essential to my sanity. Huge chunks of hours spent walking have always been my companion.

Bible study became an obsession. Not that I told anyone. I just did it because I could not not do it. I was so hungry for the Bible. That has never left me. I would type up (yes, type) Bible verses on 3″ x 5″ cards and discreetly carry them with me. But, unlike some of the addictive things humans use to numb pain, my 3″ x 5″ Bible verses helped me—not to avoid my pain—but to walk through it.

I do still carry Bible verses around. I eat them. I take them in. I mull over each word. I let one word speak to me. Then another. Then a phrase. I read the verses again. Then I sit with them. Or I walk with them. I often walk and “read” the Bible. Finally I ask the Lord, “What are these verses saying that I must do? What must I do? How must I change? Help me, please.” Then I digest them.

I have never followed four steps lectio divina. My approach, done instinctively, has always been more web-like, more organic, less a system, more a process of discovery, this way and that. The main thing is that I eat the verse or verses. I eat the words. I eat the Word.

I’m from Canton, Georgia. No one taught me lectio divina. I had never heard that phrase when I began practicing it. The earliest Christian writers understood my instinctive “web-like” (non 1-2-3-4) approach to “sacred reading” (lectio divina), for they practiced it, too, before everything came to be outlined and categorized. Categories aren’t bad, but they give the impression that things of the soul always progress linearly, and we all know from experience that that’s just not true or even to be recommended.

Matthew 11:28-30 are an example. Now I have those verses more-than-memorized. They are in my soul. I have gone over them in my mind so very much that they have become part of the fabric of my interior. I thank God for that.

“Come unto me” is such an intimate invitation. It’s something my husband would say to me. It’s something I would say to my son or daughter. And the invitation is open-ended: “ALL YOU,” and who isn’t “weary and burdened”? I ask you that.

And there is a promise: “And I will give you rest.” Not a homework assignment. Not a talking-to. Not a hassle. Not the experience of being put on hold. No. “Rest.”

Then He tells us to take His yoke on us (and since yokes were often double, the idea is that we are alongside Jesus) and “learn from me.” I get that—Jesus is supposed to be my Teacher. I love that.

What can He teach me? If I’m looking to sing in the Shorter College Chorale, I’m going to watch Dr. Martha Shaw conduct and see what she has to offer me, and it would only take attending one concert to see her throw open her arms and hear that heavenly music come from the awesome Chorale to convince me that I want to learn with and from Dr. Shaw.

What is it that Jesus can teach me? Look at His life. He can teach me gentleness and humility, both qualities I desperately need, daily: Jesus says, “Learn from me because I am gentle and humble in heart.”

“And you will find rest for your souls.” He says again that He’ll give us rest. His rest. He reminds us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He wants to swap His yoke and His burden for my approaches that simply don’t work and for my burdens that simply overwhelm me.

I also pray the Jesus Prayer now again. I started researching it again a year ago. Then, oddly, a good friend called me to say she’s writing a book translating the Jesus Prayer. In between all that I translated The Cloud of Unknowing for Shambhala and lived in that author’s world of contemplative prayer.

I have found the Jesus Prayer works well with my OCD nature. Throughout the day, I pray, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” It’s not a mantra. It’s an invocation. It’s my turning to Christ for conversation. It means I’m listening to Jesus and accepting His love. It’s my prayer to Jesus, the Son of God. I pray it throughout the day. It helps me fight the battles of the mind. When thoughts assail me (and they do), I turn to Christ with the Jesus Prayer, and I find peace. It is good medicine. And it tastes as sweet as honey.

Prayer is the four-fifths of my hidden life that helps me work out the meaning of this Bible verse: “And be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

I worship communally, I study the Bible in great and much-needed depth, I pray in different ways (intercessorily, with gratitude, contemplatively, in the Jesus Prayer, etc.), and I try to serve others to the best of my flawed and clay-footed abilities.

I hope to grow in love. I hope that I can purify my inner woman (my soul) in grace, through the empowering love of Jesus Christ. My inner woman (that four-fifths of my soul that is below-the-waterline) needs the ceaseless, ongoing application of and engaging in and acceptance of the grace of God so that my one-fifth of service and other visible behaviors might bring Christ glory in LOVE.

Amen.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.